klutz [kluhts] –noun Slang.
1. a clumsy, awkward person.
2. a stupid or foolish person; blockhead.
This is what the massage therapist called me after the bottle of bug spray fell off the top of the bookcase. Yes, I was on the top of the bookcase at the the time, but I had nothing to do with the bug spray falling off. It did it of its own accord, although I suspect gravity helped a little bit.
I mean, really...how can you apply this word to me? I'm a graceful Mancat. Just because things happen to fall when I'm around should not in any way smudge my image of being a graceful Mancat.
She claims that I - I! - have knocked more things over in the first three months of my living there than the Demon Cat has in the first three years.
I'd like a recount, please, as I'm sure there is absolutely no documentation to validate this claim.
She's even threatened to hang this sign on the door to warn people that I'm about:
I mean, seriously, how rude can you be?
It's like I get blamed for everything. I mean...maybe the Demon Cat made the bug spray fall off the bookshelf. I know, she was on the bed at the time, but she could have some special power of falling objects that I don't know about.
And all the books that were on the floor the other day...I mean...what makes you think I was trying to scale the bookshelf? Couldn't it have been the Demon Cat. I mean...she wasn't here. The Demon Cat COULD have come back in the house, scaled the bookshelf and then gone back outside without the massage therapist knowing about it. Perhaps she has a special power of walks through walls or know how to open the door by herself. How do I know.
And let's face it, if there is a klutz in this household, it's the massage therapist herself. She certainly doesn't need any sort of help - from either the Demon Cat or myself - to trip over her own two feet and take a tumble.
That being said, I feel that if we're going to hang signs in the house to warn people, it should be this one: